You must have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Isn’t that what we are told? Isn’t that the basis of current concepts of evangelism? But what exactly does that mean?

I can’t seem to really find much in popular Christian writing that shows me I am to have a personal relationship. I have a personal relationship with my wife for nearly twenty-seven years, twenty-five of them in marriage. If I was to relate to my wife the way I am told to relate to Jesus in those books, we would have divorced years ago. I am told I should spend a minimum of thirty minutes talking to my wife. I should commit ten percent of my income to my wife on which to build our relationship. I should make it a point to follow as prescribed set of rules of obedience (something I’m sure she would love on the surface) to prove my love for her and to cause her to love me. Is it just me or does that sound completely ridiculous? Then why do we apply it to our relationship with our Lord, our Lover?

Quite simply, relationships are messy. I could  not have imagined what I have experienced as she and I have grown together all this time. There is discovery, weakness, argument, pain, joy, fear and confusion all wrapped up into one sloppy package. Why do we expect clear sailing and constant upward growth if only we would apply certain biblically identifiable principles? Which of us has experienced that in loving another human being? Sometimes there is disagreement. Sometimes there is acting the fool. Sometimes there is being on the receiving end of someone’s anger, anguish and insecurity. To have a relationship is be there, present, faithful and honest. Relationships are sticky, wonderful messes. I would not trade the years with my wife for anything. I want to look back on my years with Jesus similarly.

We struggle sometimes with the idea of expressing to Jesus what we would have no problem expressing to anyone else. Why do we treat Him as untouchable? Why is he handled with white gloves? John’s first epistle even starts with the idea the Jesus is the God “our hands have touched.” He is real and understands and never leaves. That’s the kind of relationship that can be built upon.

Look, after thirty years as a follower and believer, and twelve years as a minister and pastor I am just embarking on this journey of a personal relationship with him. It is truly scary. There will be no church to hide in. There will be no books to fall back on; even the Scripture will be useless without first trusting the author to show me what I need to know and when I need to know it. I will have friends He will put around me, but still the journey is mine ALONE.  No one can experience what I am experiencing. Maybe I am just understanding when Jesus told John and Andrew, “Can you drink from the cup I drink from?” His walk with His Father, our Father, was his alone in the flesh.

I’ll keep you posted. I don’t expect this will be easy and that honestly scares the crap out of me. I can relate what I go through for the sake of what you might. Please pray. This is exciting but equally scary. Trust has to be a personal day-by-day growth path.

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